so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
