i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
