the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Is her dick bigger than yours?
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
