All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
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