So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Randomize
