Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize
