I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I will die if light touches me.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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