he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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