He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
