then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
