I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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