Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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