He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
she smelled like a LAN party
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
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