This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
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