margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
