Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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