going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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