you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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