You're so nebulous sometimes
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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