he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
