I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
