oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Randomize
