I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Found the puke drawer
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Randomize
