Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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