stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
