i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Randomize
