Sponge bath it is.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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