I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
