Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize