can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
