Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
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