Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
