Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
