Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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