im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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