there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
