I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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