I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Randomize
