Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
