It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Randomize
