I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
