I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
