just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
