we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
