He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Randomize
