you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
