She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
