I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
