Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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