Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I don't think brook has ever known best
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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