So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
