I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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