i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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