Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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