The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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