I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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