I think I died a long time ago.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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