Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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