at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
