I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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