did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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