Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Randomize