I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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