I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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