If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
