I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
